He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
