At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
