That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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