This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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