You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
