i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
