Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
