I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
