She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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