He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
