i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
