i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i came on her dog
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
