im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
