Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
