The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
