I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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