I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
