Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
