His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
