Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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