Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
