I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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