i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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