i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
