Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
