the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
