There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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