Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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