Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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