New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
