she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
