no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
