My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
