They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
