Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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