The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
