do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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