Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
