walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
