Your face is a jimmy john
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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