Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
