so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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