I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
