Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
