On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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