I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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