I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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