New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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