It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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