"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
