Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
